A funny I read...

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.

Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up"? God said, "No, you have another
43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, brow lift, lip enhancement, boob job, liposuction, and a
tummy tuck. After her last operation,
she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her
way home, she was hit and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of the
ambulance?"

God replied, "Girrrlllllll, I didn't even recognize you!"